🔗 Share this article

“Well, it’s rather brutal here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into tinned provisions and hunting rifles.” This nugget of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a genetically modified, articulate, glasses-wearing member of the oozy monster mob that swarms Manhattan’s high-tech Clamp Tower skyscraper in filmmaker Joe Dante’s unhinged continuation Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Superficially, it’s nothing more than an financial suggestion from one monster to another. Yet, curiously, it’s also pretty solid life advice. Seriously, hear me out.

When things go bad, the worst thing you can do is view events with undue solemnity. The Brain Gremlin comprehends this. Actually, the majority of the fang-bearing creatures that occupy Dante’s unrestrained 1990 movie (arguably his best) possess the same knowing, self-referential sense of humour regarding the blurry line separating everyday life and unadulterated chaos. It’s a single component of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and the older I get, it’s the message that resonates the most.

A Childhood Fascination

Naturally, my connection with this movie wasn’t born on such an deeply thoughtful note. In my youth, we only had a few battered VHS tapes at home. Included within that collection were Gremlins and its sequel, the latter housed in a thick former-rental sleeve probably bought from an independent video outlet and sporting snarling creatures on its tattered front. I was immediately enamoured and these films did not delay lodging themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. Henceforth, they became an practically routine part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s initial installment typically gets all the accolades, thanks mostly because of its status as a semi-scary seasonal fave – and let me be clear, I’ve watched Gremlins on countless occasions. That said, its successor seldom receives the same level of elevated esteem, which feels unjust. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During sunny school summer breaks, I’d retreat into the house and stick it on. When I got my own TV-VHS combo unit, it remained on repeat in my bedroom. Over time, it became deeply rooted in my mental framework. If my parents noticed this obsession, they didn’t seem to mind.

Hidden Delights and Societal Nuggets

As I got older, new understandings enhanced repeat viewings, elevating the fun of watching diminutive verdant beasts joyously wreck a New York high-rise. I learned the ahead-of-its-time property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was modeled closely on future president Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his second wife Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his genuine article inspiration.

The “end of civilisation” video Clamp plays during maximum monster mayhem? I discovered it was modeled after a real-life “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner as a contingency for the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante took extra pains to film alternate cuts of a meta sequence where Gremlins seize control of the very film you’re watching. One for cinemas, another for home video and television, each offering a winking bit of meta pop-culture magic before the term was even a thing.

An Enduring Legacy

While it was creature designer Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that drew my gaze as a child, this hidden treasure kept me hooked as an adult. Eventually, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no qualms telling me he made the movie with the specific aim of mocking those who loved its silly-yet-sincere predecessor and desired a sequel. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he happily revealed. This Looney Tunes-esque insubordination and commitment to not take his sequel as seriously as his Warner Bros bosses obviously desired, only made me love it even more.

When I endured a sudden family bereavement not long ago, I was surprised to find that, during my most profound sorrow, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Perhaps not. The nostalgic calm it provided was needed to thin out my mind’s sadness sludge – but the insights it had bestowed upon me as an adult were just as useful.

Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just are powerless over. Dante knows it. The Brain Gremlin knows it too. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: welcome the pandemonium, commit your entire being into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to approach life with excessive gravity.

It’s strong life advice from a very unlikely source – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will eternally stand as my feelgood film.